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| Delhi, 31st August. Tickets, visas sorted. No going back now! |
Listening to THE SORCERERS APPRENTICE Paul Dukas 1897
Yep first song for the blog is an oldy! It appeared in the Walt Disney film Fantasia in 1940. Yep, it's the bit where Mickey uses the Wizard's wand to put a spell on his Broom and it all kinda gets out of control... watch and turn up the sound to rediscover just how timeless and fantastic this Disney classic is!
THE YEAH AND NAH OF IT!
(Phone call at work with my mate Hoody whose opinion I should
respect and who often graces the comments section at the bottom.)
Hey mate I'm off to India in a few weeks...
...India... !@#in India, mate why would you wanna go there?
Erm, well you know, errr there's palaces 'n mountains 'n historical stuff and
other crazy things...
Aaah mate...naah... surely there's better places to go... really...
come on...
Yeah nah I'm hearin ya but yeah nah um,
I gotta have a look at stuff, you know
Ya goin alone?
Nah got an old school mate goin as well
(short silence) OK, well, good luck then...
HOW TO GET TO INDIA FROM ALASKA
So, I really really want to ride to Alaska, it's post covid and I've got itchy feet again. As I'm getting old and squeaky, somewhere easy with sensible food and English speaking sounds good. Hmm, shallow pockets and itchy feet. Expensive things itchy feet. Right, buy some tickets, buy a bike in the US, jump on, and zoom up to the top of Alaska. Let's just jump online, pump in airfares to USA shall we,
dooby dooby do.. what, aaargh how much...
that's way more than the old days (pre covid),
ah crap... Marianne won't come at this... no way!
Hmm, Ok, what about India.
Ah yes India, always wanted to have a look there. Jump online, $1150 return to Delhi ! Woo hoo! But wait up.... do I know Hindi, nope... do I know any Indian food except for butter chicken, nope... do I like crowds and traffic, nope... do I like bargaining, nope... am I a sucker for scammers, yep... are there any bike tours that'll work with the limited time left to go this year, nope... is September the absolute best time to go, not really... do I like getting sick, of course not... oh dear,
should all the negative answers stop me from going...
well... YEAH... but... YEAH NAH...
AAARGH...NOW I REALLY WANT TO GO!
PROBLEMS UNDER MY PILLOW
The party starts round four am
at the top end of my bed
Unfathomable problems come out to dance
waltzing round and round in my head
They know me well these dancing ghouls
every fear, weakness and foible
I toss and turn 'n stare at the roof
while the party goes past full throttle
As dawn arrives and not too soon
clear resolutions grow and billow
Weary problems take their coats and dancing shoes
and melt back under my pillow
Dean
WHO WANTS TO GO TO INDIA?
Hey mate I'm thinking of goin to India, ya interested?
India... when ya goin?
Err I dunno (quick Deano, make up a plan) maybe Septemberish?
Yep, don't think I'm busy, sounds good (shit he said yes!)
So eerrrm, ya in then?
YEP... WHY NOT!!!
And there you have it, Brian, my old school mate from the '70s is on board! No overthinking it (I'll take care of that) no asking permission, no worrying about logistics (me again) or food or health or how when what where... just,
"when else will I get the opportunity to see this stuff?"
Brian, too bloody right mate!
Piss off out the way Scooter.
"Sorry to butt in Deano but errr,
ya map's upside down champ..."
Oh, ok cheers Scoot.
WHAT ABOUT A PLAN... WELL?
Hmmmph a plan, the bit that comes after you've moved a dream into the reality basket.
Sooo the interesting bits for motorcyclists are the Himalayas above Delhi. Multiple tour companies service this area providing complete packages for riders from all over the world. You fly in, climb aboard the company rental bike, and get chaperoned through some of the most spectacular roads in the world. Usually a crazy two weeks long, don't need to figure where to go, what to eat, or where to stay... just ride and enjoy... they even carry oxygen cylinders for the altitude... God that all sounds good. Hmm, but I've left it kinda late, aaand they're mostly completely booked for this year. Crap... what to do... maybe book next year?
Yeh...nah... waiting's not an option... is it... yeah nah.
What about winging it? (A plan not to have a plan)
Oh oh, hmm... the murky grey mist of responsibility descends upon me as I ponder the extra problems winging it might involve. What to eat, where to go and stay etc etc. Aaaand I've invited a friend along on the premise of a spectacular ride... and here I am planning a possible disaster.
Let's lay all the crap out first.
The traffic is possibly the most dangerous in the world.
Almost everyone who visits get a dose of Delhi belly.
There is a very good chance of altitude sickness.
We have to trust rental bikes.
It's 37 degrees daily in Delhi... and it rains a lot!
The mountain roads are extremely hairy to negotiate.
We know very little of the food and culture.
Tales of scamming abound everywhere.
There are 1.428 billion people there so two more won't help!
and, we're oldish.... and so on and so on... but...
Sigh... I know I can do do this... but will it be fun?
I've been around the world a bit and I love transiting different comfort zones (cultures?). I know heaps of people do the route we're planning and the scenery and cultural experience can/will be (note I've added a 'will' after the 'can' as I get more confident!) neck snappingly awesome, to die for, must see, once in a lifetime, !@#'kin awesome stuff. (Really bad grammar but you get the picture) Previous visitors to India I've spoken to are hugely divided on their opinions... there's always a gap of a few seconds before they answer and lots of yeah nah yeah and "watch wotcha eat mate" etc etc! I'm prepared to accept any problems... sometimes they're the best part huh, buuuut I've got someone else on board this time. A good friend...
I ring Brian and gently explain I'm thinking of winging it. (As opposed to "hey I've buggered the plan and we should go next year on a proper tour"). Aaand he's fine. Aaaargh, I explain it may be shit at times... but he's good. I say we'll take our time and stop and turn around if it gets too hard... aaand, he says he trusts me (eek!)... cool!
Ok, I can't wait... let's do this!
Listening to IN THE AIR TONIGHT Phil Collins
Mentioned in Wiki as having one the most sleekest most melodramatic drum breaks in history. And, best of all, one of the
most memorable ad campaigns for Cadbury with a
very serious Gorilla busting out the drum break
GO THE GORILLA!!
(play below)
GOT VISAS GOT BIKES GOT FLIGHTS
GOT INSURANCE GOT HOTEL
GOT HEP A, B, TYPHOID SHOTS
GOT GASTRO STOP
GOT MAPS GOT ANTIBIOTICS
GOT THE LOT LET'S GO
Motorbikes... two please!
I hit the net and punch in 'motorcycle rental in Dehli' and fire off a bunch of emails to any one that might rent us a bike. I'm really not expecting much, but within ten minutes "wham", the inbox lights up with multiple answers. Jeez, so quick, I dunno, are they all for real?. I flip a coin, check some reviews and choose Tony Bike Centre, who also run their own Himalayan tours. I strike up an email conversation with Mala and Rajesh and am immediately impressed by how organised, professional and most of all... how polite they appear to be. Lovely... aargh, am I too trusting... sigh, I'm sure they'll be fine.
RIGHT, TWO ROYAL ENFIELD HIMALAYANS FOR A MONTH PLEASE.
"KERCHING" DEPOSIT PAID LET'S GO!
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| The ever popular rental Enfield Himalayan. Two fresh ones please and we'll take the Yeah Nah fingers and toes crossed reliability plan as well! |
Fill me full of holes and make it quick.
The doctor looks at me, furrows his brow and mutters, "India, why do you want to go there?" I drop my head and my eyes lock onto the family photo on his desk. Smiling faces beam out at me from somewhere nice while my mind curses the fact I haven't got a stock answer yet. Aaarm, well , you know, just ride a motorbike around in the Himalayas and stuff. The furrowed brow hits the limiter as his eyebrows meet in an curvacious three inch caterpillar... he slowly exhales..."on a motorbike as well." He spins back to his computer and furiously launches one fingered jabs at his keyboard hoping to exhume my checkered medical history. After a minute of plasticky racket he spins back, sighs, and explains my medical records don't show my long list of previous immunisations and we might have to start fresh. (He now looks slightly pleased) Shit. How many? Oh three or four today, and come back in a month for another and then some more further down the track. Hmm. I should go home and find (or ask Marianne to find for me!) my previous records I suppose... but, nah let's get it done. A half hour later I stagger out a hundred bucks plus lighter with prescriptions for altitude, nausea, antibiotics and Bandaids on both arms!
The doctor looks at me, furrows his brow and mutters, "India, why do you want to go there?" I drop my head and my eyes lock onto the family photo on his desk. Smiling faces beam out at me from somewhere nice while my mind curses the fact I haven't got a stock answer yet. Aaarm, well , you know, just ride a motorbike around in the Himalayas and stuff. The furrowed brow hits the limiter as his eyebrows meet in an curvacious three inch caterpillar... he slowly exhales..."on a motorbike as well." He spins back to his computer and furiously launches one fingered jabs at his keyboard hoping to exhume my checkered medical history. After a minute of plasticky racket he spins back, sighs, and explains my medical records don't show my long list of previous immunisations and we might have to start fresh. (He now looks slightly pleased) Shit. How many? Oh three or four today, and come back in a month for another and then some more further down the track. Hmm. I should go home and find (or ask Marianne to find for me!) my previous records I suppose... but, nah let's get it done. A half hour later I stagger out a hundred bucks plus lighter with prescriptions for altitude, nausea, antibiotics and Bandaids on both arms!
SORTED! (SLIGHTLY SQUEAKY VOICE!)
Stuff and how to sort it.
So when you need to know how to sort something you YouTube it right.
Hmm, dooby doo... first punch in Delhi belly. Aha... oh nooo... really, nah,
I'm not looking any further or I'm gonna stay home!
meal 'til all gone and stuff stops coming out...
and do not trust any fart... ever!
Ok, so next I type into YouTube
'What not to eat in India' and
OH NO... WHAT THE...
No water... no meat... no fish... nothing fresh... nothing uncooked... don't use the cutlery... don't scrape the bowls... don't eat at quiet places... don't drink milk... DON'T DON'T BLAH BLAH AARGH.
And then, punch in What to eat in India... and get... 'India is famous for it's scintillating culinery delights delivering lively amazing regional flavours' blah blah blah... great...
SOOO... I STILL HAVE NO IDEA!
Looks like it's Deanos scintillating regional (eaten all over the world!)
Snickers bar, banana, and bottled water diet again! Food sortedish!
RIGHT NO MORE RESEARCH!
There's 1.428 billion people to ask if we need to know something...
SOMEONE'S GONNA KNOW!
Yep that's the second time I've written 1.428 billion on this page
but c'mon, that's a friggin amazing number huh.
I WROTE THE BIT BELOW FOR MY FIRST BLOG IN 2014 FOR THE THREE MONTH TRIP FROM LONDON TO VLADIVOSTOK. I'M KIND OF FOND OF BANGING IT ON THE BOTTOM EACH TIME I START A NEW TRIP BLOG.... AM I SUPERSTITIOUS... NAH... LUCK'S A REAL THING RIGHT!
The Step
Imagine if you built your own bungee jump.
You always wanted to.
You even mix up the rubber for the rubber band from instructions on the web.
You found the tallest stupidist cliff
from pictures on google maps.
from pictures on google maps.
You set a date...
it suddenly comes around...
you hook up your ankles...
and step over...
it takes three months of fun free falling before bottoming out...
...and then you really find out how good
that rubber band mix is
"GULP"
Dean
A three month across the world free fall on our own bungee rope!
REALITY CHECK
If you've read my previous blogs this is where I cut the crap and be honest with myself. Ok, it's Friday night and we fly out next Thursday. Paperwork is sorted done easy. I've a pile of gear on the floor that I've yet to figure how to pack which is kinda stressful. Hmm always. There'll be a lot of culling! Brian and I are meeting up Monday for a final debrief but the partnership is working well. Tick. I'm REALLY looking forward to sharing something amazing. As much as I bang on about winging it I usually have things sorted behind the scenes buuut this time... this time feels kinda loose. Ah, I've done the best I can. Plan is to hit Delhi Thursday night, pick up the bikes Friday and head northwest Saturday morning to who knows where.
Hmm. Sounds easy right... but
...AM I SHITTING MYSELF...
ABSOLUTELY!
NEXT BLOG FROM INDIA!
Please please work out how to negotiate the comment maze and give us both a yell. It is immensely satisfying to know someone actually reads the guff that spews out of my mind and runs through my fingers onto the screen. Also please bang your email into the subscription box, sleep with your fingers and toes crossed, and maybe, just maybe, you will get an email each time I write some more rubbish!
And yes, I write crap poetry and I'll tell you why. After the first blog I found out that there was copyright on any lines from most popular songs etc which I would love to blend in with my thoughts but using them is apparently taboo and naughty sooo...
I said !@ck it, I'll write my own... who needs talent...
yep I know they're awful but what the hell,
it's fun and who cares!
